Fix

Fix

I’m tired of being stretched so thin

That it hurts to breathe

I’m tired of knowing that with time, pain goes away

But that now I have to wait

I’m tired of being on the verge of panic

Constant sobs always being choked down

I’m tired of going to sleep

To avoid the chaos of every day

I’m tired of having my nightmares

Wake me up in the middle of the night

I’m tired of missing the warmth

Of something I can never have

I’m tired of losing happiness

When I’ve done nothing to deserve it

I’m tired of the weeks melding into one

So that nothing seems to get better

I’m tired of doubting my laughter

Because I know this won’t last

I’m tired of feeling inadequate

And seeing a blur in the mirror

I’m tired of being angry enough to scream

But unable to justify the mess

I’m tired of getting hit by life

And knowing there is nothing I can do

I’m tired of trying to be strong

To prove that I can

I’m tired of being tired

And not knowing how to fix myself.

-Ella